Doesn't matter

It doesn’t matter how much we love someone

it doesn’t matter why we love someone

and it doesn’t matter how crazy they make us feel

What matters is whom we love

are they worth it?

But then

it’s not about what matters

it’s just about love itself

what we feel is what we feel

we can name it anything

without an inevitability of one another

because love doesn’t require confirmation

But then

how complete it must be

if it’s

Loneliest night

At night
I hear everything clearly
sounding in my ears
cockroaches,
lizards
all crawling

At night
I can’t sleep
a storm in my belly
I am hungry

where’s all the food?

I miss something to be missed
thing that I need to be missed
not one about obsession
everything in its right place
like that
driving me crazy
but sincerity

Oh night
I can’t think of anything
but food
where’s all the food?
I am very hungry

Every night is just the same
as the night before
and before that
the loneliest night

Melancholy's a bitch

I love hearing your voice
seeing that face of yours
that awkward face

We didn’t talk much
but when we did
what a precious time!
every second of it!
seriously, it was

Although what came out from this mouth
was soo boring
boooring
like my life and myself
and I’m sorry

I don’t expect you to know my feeling
I’m so good at hiding it
know why?
because I’m too afraid
it’s gonna end soon
like now
when obviously it all never even begins

Oh univeeeeerse
I’m tired of loving
without knowing, so humiliating
always blaming the situation
and condition
when I know that it’s just me
too coward

I wonder
what’s the point of me writing this?
I mean typing this?
to show off my sadness?
in a public website?

oh
oh
true

I just need to be heard
read

***

In the end
let me shout some lines of a song

“I am huuuman and I need to be loooooved
just like everybody else does!”

Your feet

Yang paling aku inginkan saat ini adalaahhh

yang ngga pernah kumiliki

semua terasa membosankan

Tuhan

jangan lempar aku ke neraka Mu saat aku mati nanti

dan

sebelum itu terjadi

biarkan aku memilih bagaimana aku mati

tapi untuk sekarang aku belum mau

kapan-kapan

ketika keinginan yang tak terbatas ini

terpuaskan

sampai aku lelah

letih

lesu

lunglai

lemah

oleh kenikmatan dunia

Setelah mati

aku ingin dikremasi

lalu dibuang di parit

menyebar bersama tai tai, sampah

What if it rained?

I feel really happy after listening and seeing this,

thank you, Paul

Nothingness

You know
sometimes I think of you
sometimes I think of someone else
and sometimes I think of me

Who am I?
what am I?

I’m a girl
who still lives in her parents’ house
who has hopes
one of those is getting out
from this stupid city

I don’t care of this feeling
I don’t care if I never see you again
because maybe it’s not..
what do people call it?
love

Yeah
it’s not love
it’s just a feeling
that’ll be gone
fast