8655v

Orang-orang hebat kebanyakan bercerita tentang kehidupan orang lain, hal-hal lain, apa saja yang tidak memfokuskan pada dirinya sendiri, yang dapat memberikan manfaat atau setidaknya pengetahuan baru bagi siapapun yang membacanya. Lalu kenapa saya, yang bukan eh belum, termasuk orang-orang hebat tersebut malah ingin selalu bercerita tentang hidup saya, yang padahal pun tidak sebegitu menariknya?
Saya tidak tahu bagaimana menceritakan tentang hal-hal lain itu. Apa ini karna saya tidak pernah peduli?
Mungkin emang benar kalau saya tidak peka sama sekali.

Aah, lagi dan lagi, tak bosannya mengulang lagi.

Hell o again

Entah kenapa, padahal ga ada niat sama sekali.
Saat aku mengetikan tulisan ini, tertera pukul 3:20 AM di ujung kanan bawah laptopku.
Kayanya setiap kali ingin menumpahkan sesuatu dalam bentuk tulisan, baik di kertas maupun di words itu, selalu terasa dibebani, entah kenapa, lagi.
Aku menyadari, saat memasuki masa kuliah udah jarang, hampir ga pernah menulis lagi.
Bukannya gimana, males.
Bahkan saat ada tugas kuliah pun, apa pun itu, tentang hal-hal yang berbau menulis itu rasanya melelahkan, menguras tenaga lebih banyak daripada kegiatan outdoor.
Padahal sekarang udah semester ke-5 di Fakultas Hukum, tapi tetep aja begini.
Apa ya, apa saja lah.
Mau cerita apa ya? Besok-besok aja lah.
Entar jam 11 ada kuliah, tapi harus di kampus jam 9, jagain meja open recruitment organisasi yang udah kuikuti hampir 2 tahun ini.
Jadi organisasi apa yang udah kuikuti selama itu?
Jreng jreng jreng
Mahasiswa Pecinta Alam.
Eh ini udah cerita ya? Siplah. Besok-besok saja.

Yup, come on over

It's a sunday night, a night never to be trusted for emotions. So, a lot of you guys are gonna head home and either receive texts in the dead of night or actually compose them that are not going to be fully representative of how you feel for the rest of the day, for the rest of your week. Then you'll be reaching out, and if you're not reaching out you'll have someone else reaching out to you. And your friends, and your brain, and your morals, and your conscience have all trained you not to respond. But I'm gonna go against the grain and I'm going to suggest that the next time you get a message from the one you love, the only person in the world you love and can't talk to, that you respond. And you just write back when they ask you if you're up, and you're up, just write back, "Yup, come on over." Cause life is just too short to keep playing the game. Cause if you really want somebody, you'll figure it out later. Otherwise, you'll be laying in bed with a Blackberry on your chest staring at it, doing nothing for the rest of the night, hoping that it goes, "PRRR, PRRR, PRRR." If you love someone, if you love someone. If you love someone, if you love somebody. If you love someone. Don't say a word, say, "don't say a word, just come over. Just come over, just come over, don't say a word, just come over. Let me cry all over you, let me wish that you were someone different." If you love someone....

Shut up! Shh

I write this based on my objectivity, somehow I doubt if it's really objective.

I write this doesn't mean that I'm super right, I know that I'm just one of these people whom I'm gonna talk about.

People, without a must to talk honestly and out loud about what's happening in their minds, will always have opinions about everything and everyone, no one can ever stop and deny it.

They don't have to talk about it, they're free to keep it to themselves, they have their own reasons or they don't need any reason at all.

But people, with all their needs, always want to talk and be heard when they're talking.

They give opinion and more opinions, they talk all they want, once they get heard, they go on talking.

In other words, they want others to agree with them, it is the point, even when they try to ask others' opinions, to be democratic, they think.

When the others start talking, they try to listen, but they can't help it, they don't want to listen, so they pretend.

They give the look that shows full attention when others talk, but in their minds they're just some stupid egoist narcissists.

They get bored, they want so much to get out of the room, curse everyone in it.

But they choose to try, keep on pretending, be patient, don't want to lose some respect, really?

Then time passed, it's their turn, they give some opinions based on their shallow attention, have some arguments with no solutions, just causing new problems, it's like a vicious circle.

Because when they're all finished, it's not actually finished, it never is.

Then again, people, with their big ego, will always talk a lot when they feel superior or when they feel like having some confident, but somehow, they're being someone who like to underestimate everyone. And because of that they stop listening.

In fact, they're the stupid egoist narcissists.

Good luck on that

Where are you love?

I wait
I pray that we meet
but never shows up

I’m such a failure
just hope but do nothing

Why can’t I change?

I suffer
no passion in life
only being obsessive by some things
oh my

Looking up at others
envy every time
how I want to know what it feels like

Looking low at some
so I feel better
but it’s just pathetic!

Can I kill me?

I would love to
but then
it’s everyone that I think of!

No
it’s not like I care of them losing me
because

No one’s going to really feel lost
it’s just
I care about what they would think of me

Killing myself!
makes it even more pathetic, right?

Why do I want so much?
why can’t I just be grateful of what I have?
why can’t I just enjoy life?

Why can’t I just love it?

I don’t even have any damn curiosity about any useful things but …

(Can’t tell that)